Cool Story, Bro
by ZippyD
Summary: A journey of self-discovery, lots of change and ultimately finding someone to love you for who you really are.


Top of Form

"Hey! It's here!"

Sam's bellowing voice reverberated off the walls of their apartment as he slammed the front door closed and threw his jacket somewhere in the vicinity of their coat rack.

"What's here?" His face split into a wide smile as his roommate stepped into the living room, eyebrow raised.

"IT. IT's here. What you've been waiting for ever since the judge issued the go ahead." It took all of three seconds for his roommate to realize what exactly Sam was holding and in a flash, Sam's hands were empty as the thick envelope was torn from his hands. He could barely contain his own excitement as he watched his roommate tear the envelope open and carefully pull the contents out.

"Where is it? Let me see!"

"Wait a damn minute, this is a big moment. Let me enjoy it."

Sam rolled his eyes and point at one sheet of paper in particular. "Look now, then we'll go out for drinks to celebrate it later."

His roommate huffed in annoyance but smiled anyway and held up the sheet of paper they'd both been waiting for ever since the court visit.

There it was. It was official. Binding, official in the eyes of the government. They both read the contents of the sheet of paper and Sam couldn't ignore the urge to roughly clap his roommate on the back in a gruff display of affection. When he noticed the tears threatening to escape, he put his roommate in a headlock and mock-dragged him to the door.

"Time to celebrate, I'm gonna buy you the biggest draft of beer in Chicago!"

"Sam, dammit, I gotta go pick them up, I don't want them to get wrinkled!" Sam ignored his roommate's struggling and grabbed his keys, both their wallets and yanked him out the door.

In the living room, on the floor, sheets of paper fluttered down to the hardwood floor. Various documents scattered about, and the sheet of paper Sam and his roommate had been waiting for landed on the couch. A short, one page letter landed next to it.

"The enclosed is notice that the recipient has now legally changed their name and gender in the eyes of the law. A new birth certificate has been issued with this letter to one Sean Alexander Fabray."

~

December 2010

"Quinn, I don't get it. So you like to wear my football jersey, so what? Why are you breaking up with me over this? Most guys would kill to get you to wear their jersey."

Sam sat opposite Quinn Fabray, his maybe, maybe not anymore girlfriend, in Chu Wu's Chinese Buffet, racking his brain as to why he was suddenly being dumped. The other day he'd walked in on Quinn wearing his football jersey and looking in a mirror and she'd completely freaked out. He hadn't heard from her since until she'd called him today and asked to talk to him.

Now he was being dumped over a plate of chop suey and burnt egg rolls.

"Sam, it's not about me not wanting to wear your jersey. You're a great guy, a really great guy. I just can't do this. I thought I could, I really did. I tried, but I can't."

Quinn looked down at her hands folded in her lap and choked back her tears. She took a deep breath, quelling a sob, and coughed once before taking a sip from the glass of water in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this and I can't do this to you."

Still baffled, Sam reached across the table and gently took her hand in his, counting it as a small victory that she didn't pull away. "Quinn, you aren't doing anything to me. I told you I'd be as patient as you needed me to be. I get that you're not ready to jump into a heavy relationship after last year. But if you want to wear my jersey, that's no big deal. I'll give it to you and I'll still be patient."

Tears threatened to spill over and Quinn roughly wiped her eyes with her free hand. Sam was the nicest guy a girl could hope to meet, he was sweet and goofy and nerdy and kind and he didn't pressure her for anything. He was perfect for any girl, and that was the problem. But she felt like she owed him an explanation, and she'd been dealing with it for so long that she needed to get it off her chest at least to someone. Sam didn't seem the kind of guy who would go running to tell everyone, even if he did never want to talk to her afterward.

Sensing the change in her demeanor, Sam waited patiently as she took another deep breath and squared her shoulders. Leaning in, she lowered her voiced and spoke in a hushed tone.

"Sam, it's not that I wanted to wear _your_ jersey. I wanted to wear a jersey."

His eyes darted back and forth as he thought about her statement. "So you want to play for the football team? If that's it, Coach Bieste would let you on, hell, she let Artie on the team."

Quinn snorted and dropped her head to the white tablecloth, narrowly missing a small container of soy sauce. He waited a moment for her to compose herself. She raised her head and looked at him pointedly.

"Sam, I want to wear a jersey like _you_ wear a jersey. Or any other _guy_ wears a jersey."

He stared at her in silence as her words sunk in. Then a light bulb lit up over his head. Whoa.

"Whoa. Wait, you mean you want to," her wide eyes and sudden flailing made him realize his voiced had raised several decibels and that other patrons were now staring at them. Lowering his voice he leaned clear over the table and whispered at her. "You mean you want to _be_ a guy?"

Quinn gave up all pretense of trying not to cry and slumped over the table, sobbing.

Sam didn't think twice about his next action. He was out of his booth in a flash and sliding in next to Quinn, pulling her into a one-armed hug and holding her to his side.

"It's okay, Quinn, it'll be okay."

~

"Dude, now that you are officially a dude, it's my job as your wingman to get you a chick," said Sam, finishing off the last of his beer and waving to the waitress for another one.

Sean snorted and took another pull of his beer, wiping his mouth of the back of his hand casually before slamming the bottle down on the table. "Uh huh, I've seen the girls you bring home. No offense bro, but your taste in women is way, way different than mine."

Sam laughed and tipped the waitress and she brought two new bottles to their table. Sliding one over to Sean, he picked his bottle up and used it to wildly gesture at the whole bar. "Come on man, I'm not talking about finding you a wife, you need a chick! You haven't dated in years. Time to get back up on the horse."

Laughing, Sean shook his head and finished off his first bottle. Reaching for the new one he sighed and conceded. "Fine, but no gingers. That last one of yours belonged to a nuthouse."

Sam shivered as he recalled Melody. A great body and a great rack, she was awesome in bed but their relationship soured quickly when he realized she wanted a ring after three weeks and would resort to drastic measures to get one. Including trying to kill his fish.

"Right. No gingers." He scanned the bar for a moment before he caught sight of a cute brunette with great legs sitting with a group of friends.

"Cha-ching! Found you one. I'm gonna go get her."

Before Sean could say anything, Sam was out of his seat and loping over to the woman, ignoring Sean's frantic waving.

~

April 2012

So far, things were working out. They pretended to date at school and in public. Quinn got the cover she needed and Sam still got mega popularity points for dating the head cheerleader. They had a system and things worked for them. He could see girls out of town on the side while she helped him with his lady skills, and Quinn had the perfect cover.

He'd once asked her, a day after the Chinese buffet incident, if she'd planned on coming out about it.

_"No way, do you have any idea what everyone will do to me if I showed up at school one day and said I wanted to be a guy? Look how bad Kurt has it. Look at what they do to him for being gay! Look at Rachel, do you see how many people call her a tranny?"_

"Yeah, but didn't you start that?"

Quinn looked away, guilt crossing her features, and mumbled something about projection.

"Sam, I can't tell anyone about it. The rest of my high school life would be a living hell. Worse than when I got pregnant and kicked out by my parents. Oh god, my mom. I can't tell them, they'd kick me out again!"

He sat down next to her on her bed and stared at her overly feminine room, wondering if she hated it growing up. "So what are you going to do?"

She sighed, resigned and looked up at him. "I don't have a choice. Pretend. Figure out a way to stay single or something until I can graduate."

Sam thought for a moment, thought hard about what he was about to offer. He liked Quinn though, genuinely like her. Him. He'd figure it out. But he liked Quinn and genuinely wanted to help.

"Let's keep dating."

He rushed to continue before Quinn could interrupt him. "Let's keep dating. Pretend to date. At school and at games and stuff."

Quinn's mouth snapped shut and her eyes ballooned.

"Why would you do that for me?"

Sam smiled and gently punched her in the arm. "You're my friend above everything. And I still get to date the head cheerleader." He dodged as she tried to punch him back. "Really, you're my friend. You're the first person that really befriended me when I got here, not trying to get me in something or make me do something. I owe you. And bros gotta stick together, right?" He held up his fist for a bump.

Quinn smiled and tapped his fist with hers.

This were going fine for them and really, Quinn was his best friend. Quinn was a great wingman, sounding board, anything a guy could want in a friend. Good enough that they'd decided to go to the same college in Chicago. They both received their letters of acceptance to the University of Illinois.

Besides, his best friend was so going to need support once he got out of Lima and started transitioning. Quinn was fierce as hell, but being a dude was a whole new ballgame and Quinn would definitely need his help.

"Dude, come on! I said I was sorry! How was I supposed to know she and her friends were wannabe vampires?"

"Sam, we have bite marks. BITE MARKS. Did everything I ever taught you about warning signs for crazy women fly out of your head?"

Sam popped his neck, cringing as the aforementioned bite marks stretched uncomfortably. "I told you I was just looking for a chick. Someone for you to get up on and get back in the game with. Come on, man, you haven't dated since before college. Your whole body's gotta be blue by now."

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"What?"

"Nothing," Sean grunted at him and turned back to the mirror, starring at the bite marks on his neck and shoulder. "Getting back in the game is not the same as becoming dinner for a bunch of crazy women."

"So you do admit you've got a wicked case of blue balls!"

Groaning, Sean picked of the newspaper that was still laying out on the kitchen counter and chucked it at Sam's head.

"They're not gonna get any better by tossing me at insane women who still believe Edward Cullen is real."

Sam held his hands up and nodded. "Fine, yeah, bad picking on my part. But I'm so gonna find you a chick to date. There's this girl in my office, ass to die for, she just broke up with her boyfriend so she's looking for a rebound. She'd be perfect! Easy in, easy out."

"And why aren't you making a move for her pants?"

He laughed again and held his fist out. "Bro's before ho's dude. Bro's before ho's." Sean rolled his eyes but bumped his fist anyway.

"Give me her name and number tomorrow. I'll call her."

"Score!"

"Not yet I haven't," said Sean, walking down the hallway to his room.

"But you will!"

"Sure, bro."

"Get rid of some of that sexual frustration," continued Sam, lewdly thrusting his hips into the air. Sean took his suit jacket off and started to undo his tie.

"Uh huh."

"Then Tony'll stop bitching about you tackling him too hard during our football games."

"Tony needs to grow a pair and stop whining or go join a pee wee league. You'd think he'd never been knocked to the ground before."

~

October 2013

"You have to inject yourself with that every other week?"

"Yup."

"For the rest of your life?"

"Yup."

"Dude, that takes balls."

"Yup."

Sam and Quinn sat in the small living room of their new, shared apartment and stared down at the brown package that had come in the mail that afternoon. Inside was Quinn's first shipment of Depo-Testosterone.

"So this is it. First step of no turning back."

Quinn snorted and used a set of car keys to cut open the tape on the package.

"That part came when I told Judy." Sam winced in sympathy and gently clapped Quinn on the back.

_Quinn had told Judy his intentions right after graduation. Judy Fabray had asked him to leave the house for a few days so she could think._

Several days later, while he was still staying at Sam's house, Judy called for him.

"Quinnie, I don't think I can handle this. I spoke to Russell about it and he's apoplectic over it. You're my child, and I won't throw you out like last time. We'll pay for your college, and while you're at college we'll pay for whatever you need to... you know. We'll help you with that, because you're our child."

A pause hung heavily over the phone line. Quinn knew, he knew what was coming next. "We'll help you out, but once you leave, please don't come back."

And that was that. Money was quietly deposited into Quinn's account every month, and he'd been given a quick email from the family attorney that he was to go through the lawyer if he needed more money and not to contact Judy or Russell.

Quinn's few days at Sam's house turned into a more permanent situation until they left for college.

He shrugged off Sam's hand and held up the box. "Whatever, I knew it was coming. At least they're footing the bill for it." Sam said nothing, knowing Quinn fully intended to pay back every last cent of his time in college to them after he graduated and started working. He didn't want to owe Judy or Russell Fabray a red cent.

They sat it silence for a moment, simply staring at the package that held Quinn's next step in transitioning. The silence stretched on until Sam couldn't help himself.

"Come on, take it already!"

Quinn rolled his eyes and started opening the package.

"What's your hurry anyway?"

Sam groaned and pointed at his watch. "Quinn, the teaser trailer for Avatar 2 is released tonight. You promised to go see the midnight showing of "Dawn of Glory" with me to see it. If you're gonna be puking from this stuff do it now so you'll feel better later. I'm not missing this trailer."

~

"So how'd it go?"

The moment Sean turned around, Sam could tell instantly that the date was a disaster. Sean didn't answer him, instead ripping his suit jacket off and storming off to his bedroom.

Sam frowned and followed after him. "Dude, it couldn't have been that bad." Sean remained silent.

"Come on, I checked all the crazy signs, she was sane!"

Faster than Sam could react, Sean raised his right fist and punched the door frame.

"What the hell?"

Sean seethed and shook his hand out, gingerly opening and fisting it. "After all this time, Sam. All this time and I'm still not a man. 'Oh my god, you're a girl? I'm on a date with a girl?'" he mimicked in a high pitched screech.

Sam sighed, feeling the urge to punch a wall himself. "Sean, I'm sorry. I didn't know she'd react like that."

"Not your fault."

"But come on, not every woman is going to react like that."

Whirling around, Sean glared at him. "No they're not, because I'm not going to date again. This was a stupid idea. Now get out, I'm going to bed."

"Sean, come on."

"Get out!"

~

June 2014

"Quinn, get your lazy ass out of bed!"

Sam ducked an alarm clock and ripped the covers off his friend.

"Dude, come on. It's time to hit the gym."

Quinn's voice muffled from sleep and the pillow held over his head, bounced back with an "I don' wanna."

"What the hell? Get your ass out of bed before I dump you out. You act like you've never been through one of Coach Sylvester's practices or something."

Groaning, Quinn threw the pillow at him and slowly raised himself into a sitting position. "Why am I doing this again?" Sam grinned.

"Because you need to stay in shape and we wanna attract the ladies. Bryan and Dan are gonna be waiting on us if you don't get ready and I hate listening to Dan bitching. He's more anal about time than Rachel ever was."

"Fine, fine. I'm up."

"Good, here's your shorts, your binder, a shirt and your socks and shoes," he said, throwing all of the articles of clothing at him. "Get dressed and let's _go_."

~

"Sean, it was one bad date. You can't give up from one bad date."

"Watch me."

Sam grunted in frustration and ripped the remote out of Sean's hand. "Get your ass off the couch and let's go out."

"Go where? Tony and the guys won't let me play since I broke Tony's hand."

"That's bullshit. Tony said he didn't want to play opposite of you anymore. The guys understand. They just don't want to play _against_ you until you get out of the shits you're in."

"Whatever."

"Come on, at least go to the bar with me."

"No."

"If you don't go with me, then I'll go back to that one bar."

Sean's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."

"Watch me," Sam retorted.

They stared at each other for a moment before Sean gave in, not wanting to call Sam's bluff.

"Of all the bars in Chicago, you had to find one with Avatar groupies."

"Hey, those women are rad."

"Rad? And you're wanting to be my wingman?"

Sam chuckled as he watched Sean get off the couch and walk back to his room to get dressed.

"Don't knock the Na'vi until you've had one in bed, bro!"

~

August 2014

"So that's the name?"

"Yeah."

"Sean... I like it."

"Yeah?"

Sam grinned. "Yeah. Sam and Sean. It fits."

Sean stared at him, eye brow raised. He'd spent all summer deciding on what he wanted his new name to be, cycling through James, Michael, Stephen and Paul before finally settling on Sean. He had a ways to go before he'd legally be Sean, but it was another step closer.

"Sam and Sean?"

Sam nodded. "I'm gonna call mom so she can change the Christmas cards."

"Dammit, you promised me she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it!" Sam was already out of the room and calling his, their mom (according to her, Sean was part of the family now) to tell her the news. To say she was excited was an understatement.

Sean came barrelling through the doorway to continue his rant when Sam thrust the phone at him. "Mom wants to talk to you."

He laughed as Sean threw a little tantrum and then accepted the phone, forcing his voice to be light. "Hey mom, Sam told you?"

He walked back into the tiny, cramped kitchen, opened the cupboard and plucked a half-eaten box of Cheerios out. On his way past the refrigerator, he took out the half gallon of milk from the top shelf. Sitting down on the their second hand couch, he clicked the television on and took a swig from the carton, tilted his head back, opened his mouth and poured some Cheerios in straight from the box.

Sean's voice echoed into the living room. "Mom, you really don't have to make me a new Christmas sweater, really."

~

"What if I promise to find you a woman that won't care about the you know what?"

Sean stopped, a forkful of steak halfway to his mouth. "Give it up, bro."

"One more shot?"

Sean shoved the bite into his mouth and started chewing.

"No."

"I'll go to that bar."

He swallowed the bite and took a swig of his Coors. "Don't care."

Sam looked down at his plate and stabbed his own steak. There had to be a way to get Sean to agree to try a date again. The problem was his options of coercing Sean into agreeing to it were severely being depleted. If the threat of dating a Na'vi wasn't working, he had to break out the ace in the hole.

"I'll call Cheryl again."

Sean choked on his beer, eyes growing wide with horror.

"Are you fucking insane?"

Sam smiled, the gauntlet had been thrown.

"I'll do it. Don't think I won't."

"Dude, she tried to set our apartment on fire. ON FIRE, Sam."

"And?"

He watched as Sean viciously cut into his steak, almost sawing it to ribbons. Finally, he threw his fork down and looked back up. Through gritted teeth, he acquiesced. "Fine."

~

March 2013

"You can't sway your hips like that. Guys strut. Women sway, guys strut."

With the results of the testosterone therapy manifesting, Quinn's voice was starting to deepen and his face was becoming more angular. He was starting to grow body hair and in general, he was looking more like he could pass for a guy.

"I'm trying! This isn't easy, ya know."

Quinn had been practicing trying to get the "guy walk" down for weeks, and so far, he looked like a cross between a drunken hobo and Cher. Which was to say, not good.

"Stop slouching your shoulders so much. Hold them back like this."

Quinn squared his shoulders back. "And tilt your head down a little. Guys don't make eye contact as much as women do." Quinn lowered his head.

"Okay, try again and stop trying to be a gazelle on steroids when you walk."

~

Sam had Sean's okay to look for a girl, but the problem was, he couldn't think of any women he knew that wouldn't say anything to Sean about it. They'd had a long standing code of Sean being the one to tell a woman about himself and Sam wasn't going to break that code, even while he was trying to find him a date.

That left his options severely limited. The only girls he knew that wouldn't have a problem with it were either married, dating or on a vow of celibacy.

Desperation sunk in and he had resorted to pulling up a list of college friends to scroll through. When that hadn't worked, he dug even further, until he stumbled over a name from high school.

~

May 2014

"You want to work up a lather on your face, especially around your chin and nose. Shave that part last so the hair has a chance to soften more."

Sam stood side by side with Quinn, both of them staring at the bathroom mirror. It was Quinn's first time shaving, having grown enough stubble around his neck and chin to qualify for one, and after hearing a casual remark of "I've shaved my legs and arms all my life, how hard can it be?" Sam knew he had to intervene.

He lathered his own face as an example and watched as Quinn did the same, with only a little awkwardness.

"Make sure to go with the grain, otherwise you'll get a hellacious case of razor burn."

"With the grain?"

"Remember when I had you rub up and and down on your chin and neck?"

Quinn nodded. "The path of least resistance that feels smoother is with the grain."

"Oh."

"Now pull your skin kinda tight, so you can get a close shave, but not too tight. Like this."

He demonstrated and then slowly pulled his razor down his cheek. Quinn did the same.

"You have to have a routine. If you don't then you'll miss places and I'll call you patches until you die."

Quinn looked like he wanted to slug his shoulder, but thought better of it. "Thanks a lot, bro."

Sam continued to shave, watching as Quinn mimicked his movements and found his own pattern to follow.

"When you're done, wash it off in the sink and pat your face dry."

When they'd both dried their faces, Sam took out his bottle of aftershave and told Quinn to hold his hands out. "Think you did okay? Didn't nick anything?" he asked, dabbed a small amount into Quinn's hand. He nodded "We'll see. Rub your hands together a little bit to coat them."

Sam dabbed a little in his own hands and set the bottle down. "Okay, dab your face with your hands like this."

He waited while Quinn followed his instructions and then burst out laughing as Quinn's hands flew away from his face.

"Son of a bitch, that burns!"

~

"Found a girl!"

Sean looked up from his laptop and swiveled his home office chair around. "I've got a report I have to have finished for my boss by tomorrow morning and you're interrupting me over a girl you found?"

Sam leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest, smirking.

"Not a girl for me, dipshit. I found a girl for you."

Sean froze mid-swivel and turned his head to stare at the jumble of numbers and graphs on his laptop screen.

"Fine."

"Fine, she'll be up next month. Be ready."

~

November 2014

"I don't know about this. I've never had my hair cut outside of a salon."

Sam continued to steer Sean down the sidewalk, toward the door with the barber pole hanging in the window.

"It's a rite of passage Seanny, they'll do a good job, I promise. I'll even get my hair cut too."

"Stop calling me that, dickhead."

"Whatever, you remember what I told you?"

"Businessman cut, tapered in the back, if I don't know the kind of razor I want, ask him."

They got in and claimed a place in line, fifteen minutes later Sean was seated in front of his very first barber.

"Whaddya want today?"

"'tknowwhatrazor!" The barber paused and stared at him.

"First time at a barber shop?" Sean nodded. The man, Eddie, grinned and whipped a hair cape around Sean's neck. "I'll take care of ya. You want a shave too?"

"Uh, yeah?"

Twenty-five minutes later, the barber brushed off the stray hair that had fallen on the back of his neck and took the cape off.

"So?"

Sean looked back and forth in the mirror. It was a good cut. A damned good cut. And Eddie gave a good shave too. He'd have to remember this place.

"I like it."

"Told ya."

Fishing out his wallet, he stood and looked at Eddie. "How much?"

"Make it twenty-five and we're square." Sean almost choked. That was it? He paid over twice that amount at a salon, and that was without a shave. He paid the amount and left Eddie a ten dollar tip. He was definitely coming back to this place.

After he was squared away, he turned to see how Sam was faring. He froze when he saw Sam's end result.

The barber saw his expression and held his hands up. "It's what the man wanted." Sam turned around with a smile on his face. Instead of his usually moppy hair, he was sporting a flat cut tall enough to balance a plate on.

"Isn't this awesome, dude?"

Sean blinked several times. "Yeah, if you're living in 1992. What the hell, Sam?"

That afternoon Sam walked home with his first ever burr cut.

~

"One more week!"

Sean grunted and turned the game up higher. He wished Sam would quit trumpeting out the passing of days until his blind date showed up. Sam was Area 51 level secretive about her and wouldn't budge on giving him any information.

"Shut up and lemme watch the game!"

~

March 2016

"You're sure about this dude?"

"Yup."

Sam sat next to Sean in their little waiting stall. Sean was already changed in a hospital gown and waiting on a wheeled stretched to be taken into the operating room. He was minutes away from having his top surgery done, a peri-areolar incision surgery to officially remove his breasts and giving him the gender surgery required to later file for an official gender and name change.

Sean said it was his last step in the transition, into fully becoming a man. He'd elected not to have bottom surgery, packing suited him just fine and he said the risks and cons of having bottom surgery weren't worth it.

But top surgery would seal the deal for him, and Sam and their family were supportive. Their mom was driving up and would get in for when Sam brought Sean back from the hospital to help take care of him.

"Aight, man. No hitting on any nurses while you're in there. It's not fair if you're getting tail and I'm stuck waiting on you."

Sean laughed and they fist-bumped as the nurses came in to wheel Sean away. He caught Sean's eye, saw him take a deep breathe and release it. Whatever was left of Quinn Fabray was going in, and all that would come out was Sean Alexander Fabray. Finally, what Sean had wanted.

He hoped their mom remembered to stock up on the bags of frozen peas on her trip to the store when she got in town.

~

The doorbell rang and Sean gulped.

"Dude, she's here! Go answer the door!"

Sean stood in place, frozen, armpits sweating, unable to move. Sam jumped up and ran behind him, pushing him towards the door.

The doorbell rang again.

"At least tell me her name! You have to tell me her name!" Sean was flailing, trying and failing to find purchase on their hardwood floor.

"You'll know her already. Open the damned door!" Sam gave Sean a huge shoved that sent him tumbling into the front door. He shot him a thumbs up and ignored the middle finger he got in return.

Sean took a giant breath, held it while the doorbell rang again and until Sam thought he was going to turn blue. Just as Sam was about to open the door himself, Sean exhaled and turned the knob, whipping the door open.

"Hi Sean-not-Quinn!"

Sean's mouth dropped open.

"BRITTANY?"

~  
July 2017

"Dude, you know there are other kinds of men's clothes to wear besides suits, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then why don't you wear them?"

"I do! I don't wear suits when I'm working out or if we're playing with the guys."

Sam sighed and shook his head, watching as Sean entered the apartment with a freshly pressed suit in his hands.

"That doesn't count. Why don't you wear jeans and shirts and stuff?"

Sean paused and looked down at himself. Ever since his first suit fitting, something had clicked and suits just felt right to him.

"I LIKE them."

Sam groaned as Sean headed off to hang his suit up.

"You know, I'm gonna start calling you Barney Stinson if you keep wearing those!"

Sean's voiced yelled back from his room. "Sweet!"

~

"How the hell could you do this to me?"

"Dude, I said I'd find you a woman who wouldn't have a problem with it, you can't tell me Brittany would care about it!"

Both men were in Sam's bedroom, where Sean had steered both of them after resisting the urge to slam the door shut, instead letting Brittany in and telling her to sit down.

"She from LIMA, you asshole! I don't want anyone from Lima knowing about me now, I told you this!"

Sam ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"She doesn't live in Lima anymore, she lives in Indiana. It's not like she's going to go driving back to Lima after this to tell anyone!"

Sean restrained himself from taking a swing at Sam and grit his teeth together.

"But she knows now, you fuck. I told you, I TOLD you I didn't want anyone from Lima to know and you know that included HER. Fuck, man! What the fucking fuck were you thinking?"

"Keep it down or she'll hear you. You don't want to see her again, fine. YOU go in there and tell her thanks for coming now leave. She drove all the way up here, so the least you can do is tell her thank you before being a fucking dick and kicking her out."

Sean balled his fists and for a moment, Sam thought he was going to pop a vessel.

"One date. Then she's gone, you're never bothering me about dating again and we never mention her again, got it?"

Sam sighed, but knew he was out of options. "Fine, coward." He took the punch to the shoulder without griping and followed Sean back into the living room. Brittany was standing by the couch, purse slung over her shoulder, coat still on and keys clutched in her hand, eyes wide.

"Hey, uh, I just remembered I left a light on in my apartment and I should go. I mean, I should go turn it off. I just wanted to say hi anyway, right Sam? And it was nice seeing you again. And my light. I gotta get back to that, so nice seeing you. And your roommate. Bye."

Before Sean or Sam could react, she was out the door.

"I think she heard us," muttered Sam.

Sean sighed and pinched his forehead between his fingers. "Shit."

~

It was luck and Brittany's apparently unbroken habit of always turning her headlights on while she was in the car that let Sean find her in the parking lot. By the time he did find her, sitting in a late 2000's Kia Spectra with mismatching bumpers, he was huffing from running down five flights of stairs (instead of waiting on the elevator) and sprinting all over the complex's parking lot trying to find her.

When he walked up to the driver's side window and saw her staring straight ahead, trying not to cry, he wanted to kick his own ass. He had his insecurities, but it was no excuse for taking them out on someone else.

Brittany jumped when he knocked on her window and he waited patiently as she fumbled for the little button to roll the window down.

"Did I forget something in your apartment?"

Sean shook his head no.

"Oh. Um, right. Sorry. I'm gonna go now. I never met you or anything."

Sean reached forward and covered her left hand on the steering wheel with his. "Brittany, wait."

She looked up at him and he froze, unsure of where to start. He saw tear tracks on her face and felt like an even bigger shithead now that he had confirmation he'd made her cry. A moment later, she turned away and shook her hand free.

"My cat. I should go let him in. I should go."

"I thought you left a light on."

"That too."

Sean reached in again before she could shift the car into reverse and back out.

"I'm sorry."

Brittany stayed quiet, looking down at her lap. "It's okay, she muttered. "I'm sorry. I thought... I thought you knew and you were asking through Sam. I didn't know I was just...I just... I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone. I should go, my catlight is waiting." Sean mentally added Sam to the list of asses he want to kick.

"Don't go, it's already dark."

"It's okay, I drive at night all the time. I need to go."

Sean leaned in through the window and shut the car engine off, taking the car keys with him as he pulled back out.

"Don't go, Brittany. Let's start over okay?"

She chewed on her lower lip and then looked up at him and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay."

She looked at him expectantly. "So..."

Oh yeah, that was his cue. Right.

"Hi Brittany, it's nice to see you again. Do you want to come up while I get ready for our date? I'm a little ripe from running across the parking lot and trust me, you'll thank me for changing shirts."

She smiled and nodded, and let him open the door for her and help her out.

~

December 2014

"And this one is from mom and dad."

Sam handed him the gift-wrapped box and watched as Sean held it up to his ear and shook it.

"What is it?"

"That's for you to find out when you open it, ya big goof," said their father, sitting in the couch with their mom.

Sean blushed and tore into the wrapping paper to reveal a brown box, taped shut. "Really? You guys had to tape it up like Fort Knox?" Their mom laughed.

A box cutter and several cuts later, he finally had the tape cut far enough away that he could pry the box open. He stared down at the box's contents and tried not to choke up. Reaching in, he pulled out a brand new, top of the line Braun electric shaver.

"We figured Sam had managed to teach you how to shave well enough by now that you could handle your very first electric one," said their dad. "If you plug it in tonight, I'll teach you how to use it in the morning."

Sean nodded and nobody said a word if a few tears leaked out.

~

"So you can shave and everything? And wear guy deodorant?"

"Yeah."

"That's so cool."

Sean grinned as Brittany studied his face under the lighting in the restaurant they were eating in. A quick change and dab of cologne and he was ready to take her out to the n9ne steakhouse he'd made reservations for. Brittany spent the first five minutes staring at the restaurant and had spent the rest of her time staring at him.

He thought he'd feel unnerved, but her stare wasn't judgmental, only curious.

"What about you? What have you been up to? How's Santana?"

Her eyes darkened for a moment and he made a mental note not to bring Santana up again unless Brittany did first.

"I live in Indiana now, in a town named Goshen. Everyone says it's biblical but I never see baby Jesus at Christmas." Sean muffled a laugh, surprisingly relieved to know that Brittany hadn't changed.

"What do you do in Goshen?"

"I work in a metal factory called LCi. I'm a welder!" she said, obviously proud. Sean's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the realization that Brittany handled a blowtorch on a regular basis. And that she still had all her fingers and didn't have any obvious burns.

"That's dangerous!" he blurted out.

"I'm careful. I haven't had an accident in the five years I've been there! And it's so pretty, Sean. Through the mask, it's so pretty."

Sean stared at her in bewilderment until she started to fidget uncomfortably. "I like it. And I make pretty good money doing it. I don't need anyone else's money."

He looked away before he embarrassed her further. "If you like it and you're safe, that's all that's important." Though really, he did NOT like the thought of Brittany handling a blowtorch.

"I do and I am. I make my own stuff when I'm not working. I can show them to you some..." she trailed off as she realized what she was implying. "I can show you if you're ever interested."

Sean leaned forward and rested a hand atop hers. "I'd love to see them sometime." He was inordinately pleased when she smiled again.

~

January 2016

"Dude, your STP packer came in the mail!" Sean winced as Sam's voiced ricocheted through their apartment. He couldn't wait for when they graduated and could move into a bigger place with thicker walls.

"Butthead, keep it down, I don't need the neighbors to know that!" he yelled back, just as loud.

Shoving away from his computer desk and homework, he jogged to the living room, only to stop cold as he saw Sam holding the STP out in front of him.

"Wow, man, it looks real."

"What the fuck, bro? Don't mess with another guy's junk like that, give it to me." He had to admit, it did look realistic. Which was the whole point of course. Something he could wear as a packer and be able to use a public urinal with as well. With a medicine spoon end connected to a latex tube that ran through the shaft, he'd be able to stand next to a guy, press the STP against himself and go, just like any other man.

Later that evening, he practiced using it a few times in the shower, just in case there were leaks while he was getting used to it.

Two weeks later he had it mastered and was ready to brave the men's room urinals in public. He and Sam were about to leave their parents house and drive to Columbus to see a friend and go to an Ohio State basketball game.

"Okay, now there are rules. One, don't make eye contact. Two, unless there's no other urinal possible, DON'T go to a urinal right next to a guy taking a whiz."

"Right."

"And no looking at their junk. Or talking. Men don't talk in the bathroom. We get in, do our business and get out."

"Okay."

Sam thought for a moment and then turned back to Sean. "Drop your drawers and go man."

"What? I don't have to go, and ew, dude."

"No, drop your drawers and hold it like you're going."

Shrugging, Sean went and stood over the toilet, unzipped his pants and pulled them down just enough to take the shaft of the STP out. Then he gripped it like he was about to go.

"DUDE!" Sam's shout made him jump back.

"What?"

"You can't hold it like you're trying to strangle it! Be gentle with the shaft. The shaft is your friend, you have to be nice to it. You look like you're trying to pinch it in half."

Nodding that he understood, Sean loosened and adjusted his hold.

"Like that?"

"No, now you look like you're trying to choke the head."

Sean adjusted his grip again.

"That?"

"No, you look like you're trying to jerk off. Here, like this."

Sam undid and unzipped his jeans and pulled his own penis out, standing on the opposite side of the toilet and gripped himself.

"See, it's like this. Just enough pressure so you don't spray everywhere, but not enough to make it painful."

Sean mirrored his position and looked down, committing the proper placement to memory.

"Got it."

"What the sam hill are you two boys doing?"

Sean and Sam looked up to see their dad staring at them from the bathroom doorway.

"Uh, Sean was, and I uh-"

"Oh, is that your new piss packer thing?"

Sean nodded mutely, the tips of his ears turning a bright red.

"That's not a bad size. But I'm still bigger than both of you, lemme show you."

"No, dad, that's not-"

"You don't have to!"

~

Brittany stayed the night and Sean, insisting on being a gentleman on the first date, took the couch and let her have the bed.

Before she left the next morning, after he made Sam apologize to her, he took Brittany out for breakfast and coffee and filled her tank up, saying it was the least he could do since she made the drive up to Chicago to see him.

"So, um, I had a really nice time last night, and this morning. Thanks for letting me stay."

"Thanks for sticking around, after the, uh, well, after I acted like an ass." They stared at each other, neither quite sure what to say next.

"I'll let you know when I get back in, right?"

"Yeah, you have my number?"

"You programmed it in on my phone for me, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right."

"Okay. So I'll go now. Thanks again for everything. Call me if you want to sometime." She leaned in and politely kissed his cheek before pulling away and getting into her car. Sean followed her, shutting the door for her and waving. Brittany hesitated a moment, then started the car and pulled out.

She waited again, at the exit of the parking lot before finally turning her blinker on and pulling out.

As soon as her car was out of sight, whatever fog had settled in over his brain evaporated and Sean jammed his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone, nearly dropping it as he dialed her number.

"Shit, you moron, shit, shit, shi-"

"Hello?"

"Do you want to go out again?" he blurted out. Smooth move, Rico Suave. If Sam ever found out about it, he'd never let him hear the end of it.

"Yes."

"Because I meant to ask you when you were here but I'm an idiot and-"

"I said yes."

"Oh."

"So... is there a time you want to meet or?"

"Can you come up next weekend?" The hell? Desperate much? He knew how to handle the ladies, he'd been giving Sam pointers for years, what the hell was wrong with him?

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll call you when I get in and you can tell me what time."

"Okay. Well, be careful. And call me."

"I will."

When he walked back inside and relayed the events to Sam, his roommate rolled off the couch laughing at him. Somehow they wound up wrestling on the floor, knocking over a lamp and shattering it.

~

The next weekend, Sean was perched on the couch, watching the door like a hawk.

"Bro, she's not even going to be here for another hour."

"Shut up."

"You like her, don't you."

"I said shut it."

"Oooooh, you _like_ her!"

"Whatever, it's only been one date."

"So that's why you're watching the door like a beagle waiting for its master to come home?"

They broke their replacement lamp and tipped over the couch by the time the doorbell rang.

~

"Do you guys fight a lot?"

"No, those were just special occasions."

"Oh."

They were sitting in a private booth at one of Sean and Sam's favorite bars. Sean wanted to make sure the mood was relaxed this time, and brought them here, for beers and burgers.

"You like your job, Sean?"

"Yeah. Marketing challenges me. I like a challenge. Keeps me on my toes."

"I bet, you were really good at challenges in high school. And you're really smart."

It didn't really bother him if Brittany mentioned the time when he was Quinn; she just stated it matter of factly, didn't say "When you were a girl" or "When you were Quinn." Just said it like he'd always been Sean.

"Did your top surgery hurt?"

Sean nodded and grinned. "Like a bitch."

"But Sam and your parents took care of you?"

"Yup."

"I'm really glad you have them."

"Me too." Sean hesitated, debating on whether he wanted to know anything about other people from Lima. "Do you know how everyone else is doing? The glee club?"

Brittany's gaze turned wistful and she brought her hand up under her chin, propping her head up on the table.

"Some of them. Finn's a Highway Patrolman for Ohio. He's married and has a kid. Puck ran off with some weird people in orange robes and stuff. Santana said they were Hare Krishna's or something."

"Huh."

"Yeah, I haven't heard from him since then. Uh, Rachel and Kurt are in New York and if I ever talk to them they try saying they're doing better on a project than the other one. But I think they're friends. I don't know about Mike or Artie, um, Tina's married and lives somewhere in Washington and Mercedes is dating some guy and lives in Nevada."

Sean noticed there was one, very noticeable person Brittany left out. He couldn't help himself from asking.

"What about Santana?"

She was silent a moment and then sighed. "I followed her to Indiana where she was going to school. She met an older medical student from a really super wealthy family when she was a freshman and they got married a year later. He's like a famous plastic surgeon in Los Angeles now."

"Wait, so she ditched you just like that?"

Brittany sighed again. "No. She wanted me to move in with her, said her husband wouldn't mind and we'd be together. But I didn't want to be like that. Living by her and her husband."

Sean silently agreed with her and found himself angry on her behalf.

"So do you two still talk?"

"Yeah, we're still friends. She keeps trying to get me to move in with her, and she tries to send me money every month. I don't want it, I do fine on my own. I'm okay with just being friends, but I don't want to be anybody's kept mistress."

"Well, you shouldn't have to be."

Brittany smiled at him and drank the last of her beer. Sean waved the waitress over and ordered Brittany another drink, grinning at her in hopes of lightening the mood.

"Are you seeing anyone else right now?"

She shook her head and he could a faint blush in the dim bar light. "No. I don't really date."

"Really? I'd have thought you'd have guys lining up like they did in high school."

Brittany shook her head again.

"I got tired of being a quick fuck. Most of the guys I meet in Goshen only want sex, so I live by myself with my cat."

"Nobody? You haven't even gone out on a date?"

"You're the first date I've had in almost four years."

The waitress came by with Brittany's beer and Sean took a moment to let that bit of information sink in. He raised his bottle to take a drink as he watched her pick at the label on her bottle.

"But, if you wanted, I wouldn't mind sex with you."

He spewed his beer all over the table.

~

"I'm so sorry, I'll have it dry cleaned for you, I'll buy you a new outfit tomorrow."

Back in the apartment, Sam rolled on the floor while Brittany tried to shoo Sean away from her. His hands were holding dishtowels in the air and he wasn't quite sure where to put them.

"I'm fine, and it's already mostly dry."

Sam crawled up from the floor and snatched the towels out of Sean's hands and tossed them in the kitchen.

"Cool down man, she's fine," he said, before reaching for his glass of Coke from the coffee table.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I said that, we don't ever have to have sex."

Sam spit his Coke out into Brittany's face.

~

The next morning they both took her out and bought her a new pair of jeans and a blouse to wear.

~

"You know, it's only Saturday," said Sean.

"Yeah, I learned to count the days of the week while Santana was in college."

Right.

"So you could stay the night again and drive back Sunday. If you don't have anything to get back to."

"Okay."

~

Ten months later, Sean had a section of his closet squared off for Brittany's clothes and a space for her overnight things in the bathroom.

They'd been seeing each other every other weekend and while they hadn't had sex yet, and while she had the patience of a saint, he was ready to try it tonight if she was in the mood.

After a nice dinner, drinks and a little dancing, she was _definitely_ in the mood.

As they fumbled through the front door and crashed on the couch, Brittany pulled away momentarily, hands coming up to rest on Sean's chest, head turning to look around.

"Where's Sam?"

"He went on a retreat with a couple of the guys this weekend, we've got the place all to ourselves," he told her in between kissing up the side of her neck.

"Oh."

Sean pulled back and scooped her up in his arms, guiding her legs to wrap around his waist as he staggered back to his bedroom. He broke the kiss just long enough to make sure he was at a a point on the bed where he could lay her on it instead of dropping her on the floor, and then guided them down, gently.

She scooted herself up to the pillows and he crawled after her, kicking his shoes onto the floor as he went. They were going to do it. They were really going to do it. He hadn't had sex since... that one time with Puck. Holy shit they were going to do it.

His hands shook slightly as he reached around and found the zipper on the back of Brittany's dress and slowly pulled it down. When she reached up to undo his tie, he let her, taking in her smiling face.

"Can I touch your chest?"

He nodded and held still as she unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his arms.

"You're really fit."

"I work out."

"I like it. You should go shirtless more often."

He held still as her fingers gently splayed out over his chest, running up and down his pectoral muscles, down to his abdominal muscles and back up. He held his breath as she pulled him closer and started peppering his skin with soft bites and kisses.

For a long while, he was content to indulge her, but eventually, he pulled away and kissed her, reaching up to pull the shoulder straps of her dress down. She helped as he slid her dress off her body and it was all he could do not to explode when he realized all she was left wearing were a pair of lacy panties.

And then it was like a dam had broken and he could not touch her enough, could not kiss her skin fast enough, could not feel her fast enough. His hands and mouth roamed her shoulders, her neck, her breasts and down to her stomach.

Her breathing grew faster and Sean swore he was getting dizzy when he heard her moan for the first time. His hands gripped her hips firmly and he pulled her into him, desperate for contact. She followed his lead, rolling her hips up against him, pulling him so he was flush against her, chest to chest. The feel was intoxicating and he almost didn't want to leave, but...

He gently pushed her back, leaning down to kiss her confusion away and moved to get off the bed.

"I have to get ready for you, okay? I'll only be a minute."

She nodded and he couldn't help himself, he leaned over her again and kissed her breathless before finally pulling away and running off to the bathroom.

He couldn't get his pants and boxers off fast enough, couldn't grab his harness fast enough, couldn't fit his strap on in it fast enough. It wasn't fast enough, and he almost crashed into the shower trying to get it on. The thought of knocking himself out and freaking Brittany out made him calm down and properly fit the harness on and then he was out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom.

Sean was a little nervous when he walked back in. He and Brittany had talked at length how he could have sex with a woman, and he knew she knew what to expect, but there was that tiny doubt in the back of his mind, worrying that she'd back away from him.

He shouldn't have worried. When he walked in her eyes lit up and she all but dragged him back to the bed, frantically pulling him on top of her. Her hips undulated up against him seeking pressure and he lowered on top of her, grinding with her for a few moments, getting used to the sensation.

"Sean, don't tease me," she gasped, clawing at his back.

He gripped her hip with his left hand, spread her legs a little further apart and positioned himself at her entrance. With his other hand, he slowly guided himself in, soaking up the moan Brittany let out when he was in all the way.

"Is this okay?"

She nodded, jaw clenched as he rocked his hips back and forth a little, giving her a minute to adjust to his size and the feeling of being filled. "Tell me when you're ready."

"I'm ready."

He started slowly, feeling out a rhythm that worked for both of them before he increased the speed of his thrusting. Her legs came up to wrap around his hips and her head fell back, baring her neck to him.

He moved faster, leaning down to lave her neck with his tongue and lips, matching her moaning with grunts of his own. The pressure against his clit from the strap on was tremendous and he was fast approaching the edge.

Adjusting his position ever so slightly, he thrust forward again and she nearly screamed.

"Oh god, like that, do that, do that, do that," she panted.

He thrust in at that angle, harder, reveling in her whimpering and moaning. He sucked on her neck, hard, hard enough to leave a mark and the thought of marking her as his sent an extra thrill down his spine.

"Sean! Oh, oh, I'm-" She cut off with a high pitched moan and tensed. He rode her through her orgasm, carefully, prolonging it for as long as possible until she slumped back against the bed. He slowed his strokes for a moment until she reached up and rolled her hips up to meet his, encouraging him to find his own release.

He pounded into her as she pulled at his hair and kissed his neck, shoulders, any skin she could reach. A moment later he came, groaning, thrusting wildly and burying his head in her neck. Then he stopped moving and slumped on top of her, both of them breathing heavily.

After a minute, he propped himself up on his elbows, taking some of his weight off of her and looked down, eyes roaming over her face.

"Was that good?"

She smiled and pulled him down for another kiss, holding his hips in place when he moved to pull out. He pulled back and looked at her quizzically.

"You can go again, right?"

Damn right he could.

~

By Sunday evening, when their libidos finally cooled enough for them to get dressed, Sean stood behind Brittany in the bathroom, kissing her neck and watching her in the mirror. She'd have to leave soon.

"I have an idea," he said.

"Hmmm?"

"Why don't you," he paused to kiss her neck again, "move up here with me?"

She froze and turned to look at him.

"But my job. And my apartment... my cat."

"Bring him with you."

She stepped back and he followed her, reaching out to take both of her hands and gently pulling her into the living room to set her down on the coach.

"I'm serious. Live with me."

He watched as her lower lip trembled and leaned in to kiss it, hearing her sigh in response.

"I told you, I don't want to be someone's kept mistress."

"You can weld up here. There are jobs available or you can open a studio and make your pieces."

"I can't afford that, Sean."

"I can, we could."

"But that's not any different if I went to live with Santana, is it?"

One thing Sean had come to understand about Brittany was her intense fear of being second pickings for someone. He understood it, he was patient about it and because of that, he didn't react harshly or panic when she said that. He knew, he understood.

"Not if I buy you a ring."

Her eyes really did widen then. "Are you asking me-"

"To marry me? Yes."

"But you and Sam, you've lived together so long-"

"He'll understand, it'll be okay."

She paused and he pulled her into a hug.

"You're sure? You're not just saying this because we finally had sex and I'm all bright and shiny to you right now?"

Sean tilted her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes.

"Would it help if I told you I'd already had a ring picked out? It's at my parent's house. I was going to invite you home for the holidays and ask you then."

He watched as Brittany's eyes welled up with tears, watched as they spilled over. He gently wiped them away with his thumbs and kissed her forehead.

"So how about it? Marry me?"

She nodded and buried her head into his shoulder.

"Yes," she managed around a hiccuping sob.

Just then the front door burst open and Sam staggered in, covered in blue body paint, followed by two women, also equally as blue. They were talking in Na'vi.

"Oh, hey bro! Is everything alright?" Sam asked, pausing in his conversation with the women he brought back upon seeing Brittany's tear streaked face.

"Dude! You don't just barge in, we were having a moment!"

One of the women behind him twittered and ran a hand up Sam's bared chest.

"What moment, did you piss her off?"

"Bro! Gimme some space, I just asked her to marry me!"

Sam and his girls fell silent for a minute before he looked at Sean and Brittany expectantly.

"Well, what did she say?" He turned to look at Brittany. "What did you say?"

"She said yes, dickhole, way to ruin the moment."

Sam grinned, whooped out a big yell and ran forward to hug both of them, getting the blue paint all over their clothes.

"That's so awesome! Have you told mom and dad?"

"No, I JUST asked her."

"Oh. Well you should tell them, mom said something about wanting to bake her ring into the turkey for an added surprise."

The blood drained from Sean's face before he sprang up off the couch to dive for his cell phone. As he was calling their mom something registered and he turned to look at Sam.

"Dude, I thought you were going on a retreat with the guys this weekend. To the woods."

"Yeah, about that, there was this Avatar convention..."

_We're all lying in the gutter, but some of us are gazing at the stars._ - Oscar Wilde


End file.
